It’s always the way isn’t it? The sun is shining, the world is in order, your job is secure, your relationships are solid, your wealth is growing, and you’re in great health. All the previous life worries you once endured and fought through seemed to have vanished. They just don’t enter your mind anymore. Things are bloody brilliant!
Then suddenly it feels as if life, god, the universe, or whatever sees this and thinks “Hmmm, they’re enjoying themselves way too much! Time to change this a bit!”
And before you know it, an almighty curve ball slams straight into your face!
Boom! You come into work to find out you’re being made redundant.
Boom! Your significant other decides to break up with you.
Boom! Your roof decides to fall in, uncovered by insurance and costing you way more than you can afford.
Boom! Illness hits, you and hits you hard!
Or any other of life altering situations! Where the hell did that come from?
Without warning, it can feel like this nice soft rug of life has been violently ripped out from beneath you and you spiral face first into the course, rough ground. And as you pick yourself up, just as that little rain cloud above your head starts to release even more misery around you, you’re left wondering what to do next.
Long ago, after a particularly harsh dumping by the same person for the second time, I vowed I wouldn’t mope around for months like I did the first time. I wouldn’t be a slave to this person’s actions.
I don’t mean I vowed to block out the sad emotions that came with it, as this is unhealthy and can lead to further problems down the line.
But I vowed whatever was to come, I’d accept it, and aim to move on as quickly as possible. Feel the emotions, acknowledge them, and let them go. “Begone with you!” I knew I’d be happy again in a relationship one day, so why waste time complaining on what had just transpired.
This way of thinking did help when I found myself being made redundant. Rather than kick off at the loss of my job and my apparant bad luck, I found myself becoming excited at the new opportunities before me. I remember getting my stuff on the last day, being pretty sad to be leaving my friends, but I went home, got a takeaway, had a long hot bath, and cleared my mind of any negativeness. Instead of focusing on the bad, like having to tidy up my CV, slog through job listings and go through interviews, I focused on the good. I had a sizable redundancy package to clear some debts. I finally was able to learn to drive through a crash course, and then was able to buy a car. I could now look for other jobs where I’d learn more, and meet new people. Ultimately the universe forced me down another path – working for myself. Which had always been a major goal in my life, but I always felt was a long way off. And now I’m grateful that I was kicked through that door!
I guess my own views of the Law of Attraction also helped here. I took responsibilty for everything that happened in my life. Even the really bad stuff. And honestly, it made things easier.
Disclaimeer: please don’t get me wrong here – I’ve had friends who have gone through some serious bad times, especially with illness, and I’d never suggest they attracted those things – some shit really does just happen sometimes.
Ultimately, we all just want to be happy. And life is way too short to dwell on past events, or worry about future ones. As Chris Gardner would say – ‘Start from where you are’ (great book by the way!). Look from the outside in at your life, and at any areas that might not be working. You hold the answers to change your life. Yet always remain positive that you are being pushed towards your own desires and goals, no matter how turbulent the journey may be.
Shit happens, but it doesn’t have to persist. How you deal and process events is what really matters. Go with the emotional flow and always strive to become better. If life was 100% easy we’d never grow and get stronger; it’s here to test us and help us develop. How you react to the actions of others is also paramount. It’s easy to live in anger and bitterness, but if you never forgive, then you’re only hurting yourself. And if you can’t forgive, then release and forget. Living happily is always the best revenge anyway. And never use the actions of someone else to justify your behaviour to others. Always be kind, it’s what people remember most about us.
The truth is, we’re all going to have setbacks. But it’s up to us how far back we allow them to set us. Wouldn’t you rather hit the ground running, instead of crashing and remaining down and dormant for longer than neccessary? Life is short, and people on their death beds will tell you a multitude of regrets they have. Get back on the horse and have as few of these regrets as possible.
Live in the now, be present, give love wherever you can, treat others how you want to be treated, look for the good and the opportunites in everything that comes your way, let go of the pain, and sooner than you think – that sun will shine again, and your world will once again be in order.
Much love to you if you’ve read this far.
Keep smiling and have a wonderful day. x
And now for something quite off track that I’m used to writing. 😀
Unbeknownst to most people I know, the concept and notion of love is something that dominates quite a lot of my life, and even drives me to work, write, and paint. Even though I rarely talk about it.
Fuelled by an unhealthy obsession of 80’s movies, old Disney films and power ballads, I think I have beliefs about love that many would consider unrealistic.
I’ve used the idea of a perfect romance as a kind of muse in all my workings. And even though it’s not quite obvious when reading my writings (especially with some of the gorier work!), a simple scratch of the surface will show it’s subtle undertones of love.
In my screenplay of Last Battle, the protagonist’s only drive was to return to his wife and child, willing to go head first against the armies of Hell in the name of love. And likewise in the same tale, I penned about a couple – one controlled by Heaven, one unwillingly controlled by Hell desperately fighting it out amid the fires of the underworld, trying to understand what has become of them. Another character fights in the belief that his long lost love can still see him, and uses this notion to give him courage.
With Tapestry of Fates I wanted to build up the story and characters own paths within the wars in the first book, before helping them to understand there’s more to life than just fighting in the second book, which of course leads to some romantic interventions, in turn causing the subsequent battles against E-Clipse to become more desperate and heartfelt.
This is route I’m planning with Fallen Tears also, as the twins near the source of the vampiric reign, I want to introduce a kind of romantic spanner in the works without altering the book as a whole.
So why is it that a bloke writing so much about love has remained single for quite a few years now (insert wise crack here about not being able to get a girlfriend)? I’ve been on dates after all, and that’s something I do enjoy greatly, but that could be because I love getting to know new people.
It’s no secret that I’m quite an emotional fella. Not in the crying sense, but as in deeply feeling everything around me. I hate nothing more than seeing people upset and would move mountains to make people happy. Sometimes being overly emphatic can be seen as a weakness, as it’s a trait easily exploited.
I guess I can only say that I don’t yearn for just a simple coupling, sleeping around, or jumping in and settling down with the first person that shows interest. Like my stories, I want meaning to develop before anything else.
Rather I feel I have an eye open for that perfect romance I like to write about; a chivalrous, all-consuming, soul-burning love that many believe doesn’t exist.
And does that kind of love exist? I feel I’ve seen enough evidence in this world to believe so.
Do I believe it’ll come to me? Maybe. Maybe not.
Does it make a fussy bastard? Some might even say I’ve not right to be fussy! 😀 But it’s something I won’t try to force, not sell my soul to achieve.
Whilst I’ve seen how true love can create Heaven for some, I’ve also seen it create misery in others. There’s nothing worse than regret, and living beside someone for mere convenience without any affection is one of the biggest in life.
Perhaps I even put off the idea of becoming fully involved with someone as the muse of love is such a powerful working drive for me. At times in the past I’d even use the thought of a some particular girl in order to push forward my work. But now I think it’s more of the notion itself that helps spurn my creativity.
It’s a surprise to read that Napoleon Hill wrote a similar idea in his book Think and Grow Rich – a chapter called “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation” that was removed in the early editions, with it being seen as too risque for the audiences of the 1930’s. Basically it describes that many of the successful businessmen at the time turned their desires of sex into a powerful drive that spurned them to work hard.
So whilst I’ve rambled on over one of the most boring blog utterings I’ve ever posted, whilst simultaneously giving my mother a heart attack about the possible lack of grandchildren, I wonder how I’ll end this in a suitable way.
One of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in fiction is J.K.Rowling’s Severus Snape. Whilst we all spent many books and movies believing Snape was a cold-hearted, wicked man with a terrible agenda, the saddest part came when we learned the truth about his love for Harry’s mother, gently hinted at in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
“After all this time?”
“Always,” said Snape.”
As tragic as this story arc is, it’s the semblance I adore. And the willingness to sacrifice himself even for his love’s offspring is pretty much as deep as you can get.
It’s been quite a while since my last post, mainly because of my hectic work life. A poor excuse I know, but it’s the truth.
I had planned on writing a very different post in the near future but the events of this week have pushed me to type out some more thoughts.
For as you will you know if you’ve glimpsed even a shred of the news that it’s been a week filled with death; some events arguably more tragic than others. The scenes and images from the earthquake in Nepal which has claimed over five and a half thousand lives (and counting) as well as the many thousands more that have lost everything have made for difficult viewing, and my thoughts and prayers go out to them.
But strangely, it was the much publicised executions of the death row prisoners in Indonesia that included two members of the Australian drug smuggling nonet – the Bali Nine has probably affected me more than it should have done. Regardless of your stance surrounding these two and your probable disapproval of me for mentioning this in regard to the tragedy at Nepal (5500+ innocent deaths against the demise of 2 drug smugglers), the execution has left me reflecting on my own life a great deal.
I guess the reason for this is because the Bali Nine were arrested at a time when I was holiday in Turkey in 2005. Having followed the case for years, read the books, watched the interviews with them etc, I tend to think about my time in Turkey and how it would feel to still be there now if I’d done something stupid like be a heroin carrying mule, imprisoned, having never returned from my holiday. And now as two of them were shot to death I found myself a bit shaken having put myself in their positions.
It’s reminded me to enjoy the life and freedom bestowed on me, not to work so hard and be more aware of the passing of time.
To be in the moment is a tough thing to do, but it’s something we must do in order to remember our experiences later in life.
To really be aware of every sight, smell and sound.
To put away the mobile phone and not view the world through a five inch screen.
To say yes to as many opportunities offered to us.
To explore new places and meet new people.
To truly embrace this world and our short time upon it.
And to do all this with a heart full of wonder and gratitude, and with a smile adorning our faces.
It’s a sad fact that terrible tragedies and disasters like Nepal will continue to happen throughout our history. But if we can extract any kind of lesson from them, it is a solemn one to the living left behind, reminding people not to take life itself for granted, for it could quite easily end in a single heartbeat.
Keep smiling, and never let life pass you by.
We’ve all seen the scenario – asking a group of young children what they would like to do when they grow up. Inevitably the usual responses crop up – Fireman, Nurse, Train Driver, Pilot. Basically the kind of professions youngsters are exposed to through kids books or children’s television.
But of course the onset of growing up causes that naive chosen job to change and then suddenly at sixteen (in England at least) when high school is over, we are all forced to make a decision on our career. Personally I feel sixteen is far too young to make such a life-altering choice. Another couple of years (like other countries) would mature the individual even more and make a more educated decision. For instance, when I left school I swore I wanted to be a Graphic Designer so naturally I went on to study it at college. But at the end of that course I decided I wanted to be an Animator. Strangely after studying that at university I decided I wanted to a writer/illustrator.
I guess it took me until my mid-twenties before I firmly made a commitment to myself to devote my life to the writing and illustrating of books. Of course I don’t regret the graphic design or animation courses, as they paved the way to where I am now. and now I am extremely grateful that I found what I want to do in life.
But I know many people who don’t have an idea of what to do with the short existence we’re afforded in this world. It can be a difficult decision, devoting yourself to one thing, hoping it makes you successful.
A long time ago I read a perfect way of deciding what to do in life.
Just ask yourself – ‘If money was no object, what would you do?’
Now immediately after asking yourself this thoughts of laying on a beach all day, endless parties, and living like royalty may flood your mind. This is only natural as this life is a fantasy very few can experience. But even so, after a certain amount of time, you WILL get bored of this lifestyle. Trust me! I’ve known very successful people who have become so wealthy they wouldn’t have to work again, yet after nine months of living in paradise, they actually returned back to work – bored.
So, the question remains – ‘Once the fantasy has been lived, and you’re laying bored on a beach, what would you do next?’
After a bit of mental digging, dormant dreams and desires surface. Ideas from long ago may return. Maybe it’s starting a business with an idea you had, writing a book, pursuing a sport, starting a band, or organising a charitable endeavour.
This is your calling, and once you’ve found it, it will envelop your life.
And if the doubts creep in such as ‘I can’t do that’, you must batter them back with a firm belief that you can. ‘I can’t write/draw/cook/play volleyball/play the guitar etc etc.’ – well of course if you’ve never tried it you can’t. Nobody is born an expert in any field. Most professionals will tell you that they only became good at something after hammering hours and hours away at it. It’s the passion that will carry you on, and drag you through the times of despair and doubt. It’s the passion that pulls you away from the TV, from the Xbox, and everything else that eats at your time, and focus on your heart’s desire. They key is to not give up, no matter what anybody says or even what you tell yourself.
Keep on affirming that you can do this, that you can succeed in whatever you choose to be. Believe in this enough and you’ll find any obstacles magically move out of your way as progress on the journey.
I guess that’s why the name it ‘The Calling’, – because it sings to you, pulling at you to keep on trying, keep on developing, and keep on improving at your game.
As the motivational speaker Wayne Dyer has said on numerous occasions – ‘Don’t die with the music still inside of you.’
What a tragedy that would be.
Well it’s certainly been a while since I updated my blog so I guess I best put in a final post before the end of the year!
Firstly, my lack of posts is not due to laziness, or forgetfulness. In fact there have been many points in my life that I’ve desired to record here during the past few months but have simply been unable to due to a lack of time. I’m not annoyed though as I welcome the work that has kept me busy.
The past year has had it’s fair share of ups and downs, sadly beginning with yet another family funeral, followed by another near the end. But they will not be forgotten by any means. x
Aside from the sad times, there has also been good ones. Not only have I become a published author twice, I’ve also made plenty of friends and contacts within the publishing world, opening up many doors and avenues into future ventures. There have been weddings, births, holidays, and good times with amazing friends. I’m happy and grateful to have spent these times with my amazing girlfriend Wendy who also works hard to pursue her own dreams.
Which brings me to the point of next year. Gratefully the world did not end on the 21st of this month, but amazing things did happen on that day. Thousands of people gathered around temples across the globe, ushering in a spiritual union that transcended individual religions. Many have spoken about this time being a positive turning point in humanity’s history, that peace and harmony will begin to wash over the minds of every single purpose on Earth. I think you can already see these changes happening. Simply by the amount of positive quotes and verses placed on social networks, and the number of people talking of joy and abundance. Of course, many will say I’m simply being ridiculous, but it’s definitely something I’ve noticed recently.
Do I believe though that mankind is entering a more positive change in it’s evolution? Maybe. But of course it wouldn’t just happen overnight. I feel people will only be happy if they want to be happy. They will only live in peace and harmony if they believe peace and harmony exists. As I’ve moaned about before, I believe soaps such as Eastenders and Coronation Street damage the perceptions of living more than anything else. Viewers subject themselves to 30min of poverty, misery, and dysfunctional relationships every evening, ramming home this belief that life is just one huge struggle, and that it is ok to treat others with contempt and selfishness. And if these programs really do do this kind of damage, imagine what kind of suffering daily viewings of Jeremy Kyle brings! So my solution to begin healing Britain is take these programs off and replace them with repeats of Father Ted and Friends. 😉
Now as the New Year approaches, many people will begin writing out their New Year’s Resolutions. If you’ve ever made one you’ll know that they rarely work. Putting that much pressure on yourself is doomed to failure as we constantly think about them, discuss them with other people and weaken them, inevitably returning back to our comfortable way of doing things.
This is why if you want to make changes in your life, I suggest simply making them now. If you want to get in shape, go for a new profession, want to find a new relationship, find new ways to make money, or indeed write a book, then you shouldn’t wait until the start of a new year to begin these things. You should make a firm commitment to start them right now and imagine how you’ll feel when you’re fit and healthy, when you’re in your dream job, when you’re with the partner of your dreams, when you’ve got the healthy bank account you wanted, when you’re holding the hardback version of your book, and really feel it. Because it is that emotion you’ll feel that will fire you up into going for what you want. Then any objects in your way will seem to magically move out of the way. And their strength will remain if you keep them yourself.
In to sum up – it’s not the seemingly mythical turning of the calendar that will help you in changing your life for the better, not is the enticing dates mentioned by ancient civilizations on big stone tablets.
It is your own desires and beliefs that ultimately create your world.
Which leads to the two golden rules of living in happiness – no matter what pain and suffering you see in the world around you, whether in the news or in fiction, you must believe the world is inherently a good place, where beautiful things and great dreams come true, and that we all have the potential to live gloriously, without pain or misery. And of course – never ever giving up on pursuing what you want in life, no matter how many times you get knocked down. Shoot a thousand arrows at a target and one will eventually hit the bullseye.
Go for it now.
And never give up.