Mutterings and utterings of a budding novelist


‘I think you know this already Kaitlyn,’ whispered Razvan, sensing the girl delving further into his mind, pulling his thoughts and memories around. ‘But there are two unwelcome strangers who march across these lands. Would you like to go and kill them?’

A delayed chapter this time!

But back on track, and preparing for an exciting fight for the Dancescu twins!

Part 11 (Chapter 8) Can be downloaded here, or from the page at the top.

DISCLAIMER: As always this tale is a first draft. Itโ€™s unchecked, unedited, and is pretty much as raw as I can type. Hence why itโ€™s free. So no pointing out mistakes please! ๐Ÿ™‚ Cheers!

Fallen Tears Chapter Header Chapter 8

From the Ashes

It’s no secret that the past few months have completely altered my life, tested my mettle as well as my faith, and pulled me into a lull that many years of LOA has trained me to confront head on.

I recall the time when a very good friend went through the exact same situation – losing his job and struggling to find employment. I used to tell him that it’s fate’s way of creating a better life. For you can only build a better way of living after the old one has been torn down to it’s foundations. I’ve kept this theory at the forefront of my mind as I’ve spent the last couple of months endlessly applying for jobs, and sending out my CV and portfolio to every design agency in the North West. Yet whilst I’ve been pouring over the numerous job sites, I’ve still had requests from people for various bits of work.

I’m not sure at what point the epiphany clicked into place, but suddenly I realised that rather than struggling to find an opportunity to make someone else’s dreams come true, I had a a perfect opportunity to make my own dream a realisation.

I sit here at my own fully equipped home office, completely capable of providing freelance graphic design and illustration to anyone. So why not take the time of applying for jobs and use it to search for clients instead.

The bizarre thing is, the second I made the decision to go self-employed, a great dark veil seemed to lift from me. The frustration of unemployed appeared to just blow away, and those closest to me have noticed my sudden happiness. It’s because of this I know I am on the correct path.

I’m under no illusions that this won’t be tough – I’m fully prepared to work my absolute ass of to make this work.

So now I had the decision, all I needed now was to create my business. After much thinking and tinkering it seemed only right to name it after my obsession with Phoenixes. So here you go – Phoenix Designs.

The website is far from perfect and needs lots of examples on there. But I’ll get there eventually. :)Time to make this dream a reality! ๐Ÿ˜€

Phoenix Logo


As One Door Closes, A Thousand Open

Well, after precisely 9 years, and 11 months (could’ve rounded it off with another month guys! :D) I’ve taken voluntary redundancy from my place of employment.

Today’s journey there to pick up my stuff was actually a little surreal and even after years and years of going the same way, I was actually more aware of the passing surroundings than ever before. I’m glad I’ve had time to get used to the idea of leaving (the other members of my department had already left whilst I was away on holiday) as I wasn’t quite as emotional as I could have been. Clearing your desk and pc for the last time is a daunting experience, but strangely I feel almost excited and curious about what the future now holds.

So now, sat here at my home desk, now resembling my work’s one a little more (complete with plush Angel Kenny and digital photo frame) and after a welcome cup of coffee, I’m now ready to figure out what I need to do with this new opportunity I’ve manifested into my life. ๐Ÿ˜€

First off the bat – driving! Having stopped short of going for my test years ago I now plan on booking my theory and a quick crash course in the next few weeks, and then buying a car in order to throw away my bus pass once and for all.I guess this will allow me to travel further afield for work instead of relying on local advertising agencies.

As for the rest of what I plan to do, I think I’ll have a bath, cleanse my thoughts and mind, do a bit of meditating, and then write down my dream life in detail. I’m already still working through my ‘Project Conrad’ I talked about in another post in order to attract more fame and wealth.

I’m pretty sure I’ll have a bash at getting as much illustration and novel work out as possible in the next few months. This must be my priority now.

I know my colleagues – both that have left and those that have stayed, are going through some trying times.

My message to them is to not lose faith, accept whatever comes your way. and gratefully take whatever is placed in front of you. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes that reason is because we wanted it to happen, other times it’s because life is pushing us down a better route. Sometimes life has to be smashed to it’s foundations in order to rebuild it better than before.

Here’s a video which I’m sure will empower your thoughts and give you hope.

And another! ๐Ÿ˜€

To everyone at CNetwork, and those who have recently left – goodbye, good luck, keep on believing, and never give up.

Love you all! ๐Ÿ™‚




Book Review: Season of the Dead

Here is my review for ‘Season of the Dead’ by Sharon Van Orman, Paul Freeman, Gerald D. Johnston, Lucia Adams

Zombies – how we love them.

How is it the simple premise of a human returning from the dead to walk amongst the living can inspire not only a multitude of tales and scenarios, but a diverse array of comedy and horrific genres.

So with this in mind I guess it’s hard to create something truly original when you fill a book with undead flesh chompers.

‘Season of the Dead’ is one of these books. Written by four authors, each from their own viewpoint as zombies take over the world. Two from America, one from Canada, one from Ireland. It’s a unique blend of cultures that fits remarkably well in the telling. I’ll have to admit the cover reminded me a little of the game ‘Left 4 Dead’, but aside from having four protagonists, the similarities end there.

What’s great about this book, without giving away any spoilers, is that the four seperate experiences truly give the feeling of this being a worldwide event, and that you secretly hope throughout the book that these characters will meet one another (I think I beamed with excitement when they finally did).

The twists and turns the four take as they carve, blast and chop through hordes of munching zombies leads towards an epic finale, beautifully crafted by the four writers who even though speak in their own voice, manage to keep the tale from diversifying into a jaunted quartet of seperate novels. Everything moulds seamlessly together like a literary synchronised swimming session. Even better is the fact that they use their own names for their characters, hinting further that they have actually used their own personalities to flesh them out.

All in all a great book, with thrills, chills, chuckles, and a sprinkling of gore. Well worth a read.

And one tip – should you ever encounter a zombie apocalypse – a full size squirrel outfit trumps full military body armour against the undead anyday!



Blurb:ย  โ€œIt is said that unto everything there is a seasonโ€ฆthese are the stories of a group of survivors during the season of the dead.โ€

Four individuals fight to survive as the zombie apocalypse crashes over the world in a wave of terror and destruction. Color, creed, and social standing mean nothing as the virus infects millions across the planet.

Sharon: a zoologist from Nebraska, USA, has worked with the virus, and has seen the effects on the human mind. She knows more about the virus than nearly anybody alive, and far more than she wants to. Gerry: from Ontario, Canada, he gets his first taste of the virus from inside a prison cell. Locked up after an anti-government riot, his prison guard transforms before his eyes into a flesh craving zombie. Lucia: a chemist from Pittsburgh, USA, flees from a furry convention dressed as a giant squirrel, and escapes from the city in a Fed-Ex van. Sheโ€™s a girl who knows when to run and when to fight. Paul: thinks he can sit out the apocalypse in his apartment block in Dublin, Ireland, until the virus comes to visit, bursting his bubble and leaving him with no choice but to face reality or perish.

All four begin perilous journeys in mind and body as they face daily trials to survive: Four threads, four different parts of the world, one apocalypse!


Amazon US link:ย

Amazon UK link:ย





Finding Your Calling

We’ve all seen the scenario – asking a group of young children what they would like to do when they grow up. Inevitably the usual responses crop up – Fireman, Nurse, Train Driver, Pilot. Basically the kind of professions youngsters are exposed to through kids books or children’s television.

But of course the onset of growing up causes that naive chosen job to change and then suddenly at sixteen (in England at least) when high school is over, we are all forced to make a decision on our career. Personally I feel sixteen is far too young to make such a life-altering choice. Another couple of years (like other countries) would mature the individual even more and make a more educated decision. For instance, when I left school I swore I wanted to be a Graphic Designer so naturally I went on to study it at college. But at the end of that course I decided I wanted to be an Animator. Strangely after studying that at university I decided I wanted to a writer/illustrator.

I guess it took me until my mid-twenties before I firmly made a commitment to myself to devote my life to the writing and illustrating of books. Of course I don’t regret the graphic design or animation courses, as they paved the way to where I am now. and now I am extremely grateful that I found what I want to do in life.

But I know many people who don’t have an idea of what to do with the short existence we’re afforded in this world. It can be a difficult decision, devoting yourself to one thing, hoping it makes you successful.

A long time ago I read a perfect way of deciding what to do in life.

Just ask yourself – ‘If money was no object, what would you do?’

Now immediately after asking yourself this thoughts of laying on a beach all day, endless parties, and living like royalty may flood your mind. This is only natural as this life is a fantasy very few can experience. But even so, after a certain amount of time, you WILL get bored of this lifestyle. Trust me! I’ve known very successful people who have become so wealthy they wouldn’t have to work again, yet after nine months of living in paradise, they actually returned back to work – bored.

So, the question remains – ‘Once the fantasy has been lived, and you’re laying bored on a beach, what would you do next?’

After a bit of mental digging, dormant dreams and desires surface. Ideas from long ago may return. Maybe it’s starting a business with an idea you had, writing a book, pursuing a sport, starting a band, or organising a charitable endeavour.

This is your calling, and once you’ve found it, it will envelop your life.

And if the doubts creep in such as ‘I can’t do that’, you must batter them back with a firm belief that you can. ‘I can’t write/draw/cook/play volleyball/play the guitar etc etc.’ – well of course if you’ve never tried it you can’t. Nobody is born an expert in any field. Most professionals will tell you that they only became good at something after hammering hours and hours away at it. It’s the passion that will carry you on, and drag you through the times of despair and doubt. It’s the passion that pulls you away from the TV, from the Xbox, and everything else that eats at your time, and focus on your heart’s desire. They key is to not give up, no matter what anybody says or even what you tell yourself.

Keep on affirming that you can do this, that you can succeed in whatever you choose to be. Believe in this enough and you’ll find any obstacles magically move out of your way as progress on the journey.

I guess that’s why the name it ‘The Calling’, – because it sings to you, pulling at you to keep on trying, keep on developing, and keep on improving at your game.

As the motivational speaker Wayne Dyer has said on numerous occasions – ‘Don’t die with the music still inside of you.’

What a tragedy that would be.





As my sis has pointed out, I cannot mention Angel without writing something about Angel’s creation – the child-like Seraphim. Described as being built from several suits of armour with six arms and no speech abilities, Seraphim is able to wield six swords at once (4 swords and 2 guns in Tapestry of Fates), and comes complete with a huge sense of justice and devotion to his friends.

As an assault droid, Angel programmed Seraphim to act in an ultra violent, rampaging mania if her life is threatened or if she comes to harm. He is also programmed to obey all of her commands, disguised as kind requests.

His violent side is mirrored in his benevolent nature and innocence, as is shown in Book 2 of Tapestry of Fates (Spirit’s Pain) when he introduced.

ย ย  When he got to Gemma, she looked up at him through red ringed eyes; tears streaming down her face.

ย ย  Did you kill him?โ€™ She whispered to the tall droid as he freed her from the shackles.

ย ย  Seraphim paused and then slowly placed a finger under Gemmaโ€™s eye, carefully wiping her tear away. His eyes shone a deep blue. Softly bleeping he nodded at her.

ย ย  โ€˜Thank you.โ€™ She quietly choked, embracing Seraphim tightly, who in return held her back.


Here is an excerpt from my other tale ‘The Lost Flame’ that perfectly describes the nature of Seraphim.

Please excuse the very poor grammer – it is over ten years old.

The Lost Flame excerpt

Seraphim and Boddington

Old illustration of Seraphim and Boddington


Website – Character Profile Test

Here is the test for a character profile on my website.

It needs a back button.

Only eleven more to go ha! ๐Ÿ˜€

The Secret Service – Flash Mob

In a previous post I spoke about my friend who was fulfilling her dreams through her own business – a unique gift service called The Secret Service.

Well, in order to garner interest in her new endeavour she successfully organised a ‘Flash Mob’ in the streets of Blackpool. For a few dynamic moments, a group of seemingly unrelated people broke spontaneously into a music filled dance routine, stunning shoppers and passers-by.

If there’s one that seems to propel great businesses forward, it’s unique ideas carried out effectively. This is one of the best I’ve ever heard of.
And now my friend is planning greater things for her dream company.

Well done Cheryl. ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish you all the best for the future.x

The Gazette’s cover story:

Website In Progress


Hope I can get it to function correctly ha!

Norway Massacre

Just a short post to express my sadness over the 90+ killed in the terrorist attacks.

Please don’t give the mass murderer responsible a stage to express what he has to say. He deserves no rights.

My thoughts go out to the families of those tragically lost.


The Secret Service

I love it when people accomplish their dreams, even more so when it’s somebody I know.

So when one of my friends announced she was setting up her own business I was so happy for her, especially since she had found a fantastic little hole in the market (as far as I know).

Here is what her website says:

So… Imagine your calendar… Now imagine your calendar does everything for you. You will have your very own Secret Service Agent who will remind you of your events, organises your occasion, finds your gifts, present wrapping, delivery, table booking, arranges tickets and much more including our very own secrets.

From being a guest at a wedding, date night, arranging your loved ones birthday, valentine, Christmas, you name it we are at your service. Each event is tailor made to your specific requirements no matter how big or how small. So that’s no stress, no parking, no wrapping, no searching, no delivery, no organising and the secret all at a low cost!!

What’s the secret?

It’s date night, and you’re going for a meal… How about inviting your loved one in a different way? Have drinks ready for your arrival? A special song playing? A message in a fortune cookie? A favourite flower delivered? oh the list is endless to make your event as special as possible and…It’s a secret.ย  None ofย  our products have our ownย  branding,ย  we leave no trace, so you can take all the credit!

All you need to do is email us your event or your calendar and we do the rest!

To see what the Secret Service can offer, go to
(at present only Blackpool area of England is being served but they are hoping to expand soon)

Final Cover

The printers in China have sent the cover. I was huming and harring about the barcode but at least it doesn’t cover the illustration.

Wolcanoes and Cocoons

No I haven’t spelt that wrong. It’s how my and Wendy’s friend Krisztian pronounces Volcano. ๐Ÿ™‚

I guess I should put a post about our holiday Tenerife. I can honestly say it’s one of the most chilled holidays I’ve been on. Our villa, was stunning and spacious, reminding me how much I prefer them to hotels. Despite me and Wendy being in a sort of children’s room.

We did the usual tourist thing, going up mount Teide (for a mini snowball fight), trips out looking for dolphins, and basically lounging around the pool and beach with ice cold San Miguels. Went to a fantastic waterpark called Siam Park which looks like something resembling an ancient Thai city and boasts the world’s biggest man made waves.

Would’ve liked to stay an extra few days, but I’m not complaining. One bizarre thing to mention is that I bought a beach towel with the image of a 200 euro note on it, and I came home with 200 euros. Law of Attraction maybe?

My sister Kel, Tiny, my cousin Lee, Krisztian, Sarah, me and Wendy at our villa.


Also a week later we headed to Cocoon, a techno type day festival in Leeds. Within 5minutes I saw a guard chase down a lad who had scaled the fences to get in – made me laugh. It sounded like the same track to me being played all day but everyone else seemed to notice the shift in song every few minutes. ๐Ÿ™‚

Although it’s not really my thing, I love seeing my cousins and their friends, whilst mixing with my own mates there.

Me and Wendy

Me and my big cousins Wayne and Lee.


College Reunion

Many people count school as the best days of their life. I’m afraid I disagree, mine were my college years – namely 1999-2000.

I managed to meet a fantastic group of people who I’m glad to say I’ve (mostly) kept in contact with. Over the years our paths have divulged away from each other, but we still stay in touch.

Last week a few of us (Me, Ella, Danny, Gemma, Emily) met for a ‘Come Dine With Me’ style dinner, with each of us bringing a course. Mine was the cheese board, overloaded with probably more cheese than there should have been. I did throw a few babybels on there too ๐Ÿ˜€

It was a fantastic evening and many pictures were taken. Hopefully I’ll see some soon to upload with the picture below. This was taken during our college course to Amsterdam – Jan or Feb 2000.

From left to right Ben, Liz, Lyndsey (my then gf), me looking all cool!, Caroline, Gemma, Emily, Danny, Ella, unknown lad.


Ain’t it great? ๐Ÿ˜€


As a big believer in personal development, law of attraction, reapng what you sow etc, I’ve heard countless stories of successful people facing all manner of obstacles before they attained their ‘glory’.

Now I’ve encountered numerous obstacles along the way in getting this novel sorted. Some are learning curves like getting to grips with software like InDesign. Others are downright ridiculous like arguing with printers in China about shipping to Liverpool instead of Felixstowe.

Now because I’ve heard all these hurdle stories, does this mean I’ve attracted the same situations into my life? After all, if all these successful folk needed bumps in the road, then surely I do!

Either way, I’m grateful for my determination to soldier on through and put the dedication in where it is needed. I rarely blow my own trumpet but for someone who was once told ‘you can’t draw, you can’t paint, and you have no imagination.’ I’m mega proud of myself being able to fully write, illustrate and typeset an entire 280 page novel!

Big cheesy smiles all round! ๐Ÿ˜€

Right, back to the battlefield!

Progression 4

Entire novel fully typeset, preflighted, packaged, tied up with a nice bow and sent away!! WOOHOO!!!!

Progression 3

Chapter 10 out of 14 fully typeset. ๐Ÿ˜€

Progression 2

Chapter 9 out of 14 fully typeset. ๐Ÿ˜€

Progression 1

Chapter 8 out of 14 fully typeset ๐Ÿ˜€

The Big 30

Well today is my birthday! I’m pretty sure I remember telling myself when I turned 30 I would have done something spectacular with my life. I suppose I could have done worse. ๐Ÿ˜€ I know I’m supposed to spend this day getting drunk (which will be done later), but for now I’m finishing typetting this novel.

I guess getting this finished would be pretty spectacular! ๐Ÿ™‚

Website A Go Go!

Finally my website is up and running.

Mind you it’s only a simple page at the moment. It’s time to build the site now ๐Ÿ™‚

3 FREE Chapters

To garner some interest in my novel I’ve decided to post the first 3 chapters of my novel Tapestry of Fates: Spirit’s Destiny which can be seen at the top.

Please excuse the formatting issues I had. The final product is of a much higher quality ๐Ÿ™‚

Enjoy. ๐Ÿ˜€

Back Cover

5 Signs You’re a Novelist

1. When in conversation you pay more attention to how the other person is articulating, rather than what what they are actually saying. “Wow! Her nostrils really do flare when she laughs!”

2. You compare your made up characters to your real life friends. “Well Obi-Wan would’ve swung that around like this.”

3. People on a whole become more fascinating. The weirder the better! “Please tell me again why you lived in a giant bird’s nest for a year, eating acorns!”

4. Instead of saying ‘that book would make a great movie’, you say ‘that movie would make a great book’. “No seriously, the events of Death Race could’ve been much more deeply explored!”

5. Your life is thought of terms of chapters, rather than lengths of time. “C’mon! I quit my job way back at the end of Chapter seventeen.”